Romance Scams: Cybersafety For Seniors
Romance scams are among the most devastating forms of online fraud, preying on emotions and trust to exploit victims financially. However, these scams don’t always begin with a search for romance. Fraudsters may initially establish connections through seemingly platonic relationships—posing as friends, confidants, or even colleagues—before turning the relationship into a scam. This type of fraud is a growing concern in Canada, particularly for seniors, who are often targeted due to their perceived vulnerability and higher likelihood of having financial assets. According to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, by 2023, Canadians fell victim to romance and related scams with losses totaling over $50 million. In Ontario alone, reported losses exceeded $21 million.
If you suspect a scam, report it to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, your local police department, your financial institution, or the platform where the interaction occurred.
The Rising Threat of Romance Scams Among Seniors
Seniors, especially those over 65, have been hit the hardest. Isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic created a perfect storm, with older adults spending more time online, making them prime targets for sophisticated scammers. The true extent of these scams is likely much greater, as many victims feel too embarrassed to report their experiences. Romance scammers are adept at creating believable personas and emotionally manipulative narratives, leading victims to believe they are helping someone they love.
Why?
Romance scams disproportionately target seniors due to a combination of emotional, financial, and technological factors. Understanding these vulnerabilities can help protect older adults from falling victim to these exploitative schemes. Here are some key reasons why older individuals are particularly susceptible:
1. Emotional Needs and Desire for Companionship
As people age, they may experience more isolation, particularly if they are widowed, divorced, or live far from family. Scammers exploit this loneliness, offering the illusion of love and connection. Many older adults may be more eager to form relationships and are more receptive to online approaches that promise emotional fulfillment.
2. Ingrained Trust and Politeness
Seniors often come from a generation where trust and face-to-face interactions were valued. They may not be as cautious when communicating online or with people they’ve never met in person. This lack of suspicion makes it easier for scammers to establish a false sense of trust and manipulate their victims into sharing personal information or sending money.
3. Stable Financial Resources
Older adults may have accumulated savings, pensions, or home equity over their lifetime, making them an attractive target for fraudsters. These financial resources can be seen as a “nest egg,” and scammers often view seniors as easy marks who may be willing to help someone they care about, even if they’ve only known them online.
4. Generational Disconnect with Technology
While many younger people are digital natives, older adults may not be as familiar with online safety or how to spot potential scams. Seniors may not always recognize the signs of a scam, such as fake profiles or unrealistic stories, because they haven’t been exposed to these dangers in the same way younger generations have. The lack of digital literacy increases their vulnerability.
4. Generational Disconnect with Technology
While many younger people are digital natives, older adults may not be as familiar with online safety or how to spot potential scams. Seniors may not always recognize the signs of a scam, such as fake profiles or unrealistic stories, because they haven’t been exposed to these dangers in the same way younger generations have. The lack of digital literacy increases their vulnerability.
5. Grief and Vulnerability
Seniors who are grieving the loss of a spouse or loved one may be more emotionally vulnerable. Scammers can take advantage of their grief, using sympathetic or fabricated stories to gain their trust. The desire to rebuild emotional connections after loss can make them more susceptible to manipulation and deceit.
6. Difficulty Recovering from Financial Loss
When seniors fall victim to scams, the financial losses can be devastating, and recovery may be harder compared to younger individuals. Many older adults are on fixed incomes or have limited ability to earn additional money. Losing even a small amount of savings can have a serious impact on their quality of life, and they may not be aware of the resources available to help them recover.
7. Lack of Awareness of Scam Tactics
Scammers constantly evolve their strategies, using increasingly sophisticated methods to appear legitimate. Many older adults may not be aware of the wide variety of scams, such as requests for money to cover a supposed medical emergency or even being coerced into participating in illegal activities like money laundering or fraud. Awareness campaigns targeted at seniors can be a powerful tool in preventing these crimes.
What It Is
A romance scam occurs when a fraudster creates a false identity, feigns romantic interest in a victim, and develops a relationship built on trust and emotional connection. The scammer’s primary objective is to manipulate the victim into providing money, cryptocurrency, gifts, or even unwittingly engaging in illegal activities.
3 STEP APPROACH
How Romance scams typically unfold
Step 1: Targeting and Research
Fraudsters carefully select their victims, often using information from social media or dating profiles to personalize their approach. They craft tailored strategies to appear genuine and trustworthy, increasing their chances of success.
Step 2: Building Trust
Once contact is made, the scammer invests time in developing an emotional connection. They may send photos, share fabricated stories, or have long conversations to establish trust and affection. Eventually, they fabricate a crisis—such as a medical emergency, legal issue, or investment opportunity—to make their request for financial help seem urgent and legitimate.
Step 3: Exploitation and Disappearance
The scammer requests money, often via wire transfers, cryptocurrency, or gift cards. In some cases, they may even involve the victim in illegal activities, such as acting as a money mule. Once the fraudster has obtained as much as they can, they disappear, leaving the victim emotionally and financially devastated.
Warning Signs
- The person works overseas or is otherwise unable to meet in person and/or is rarely available for voice/video calls.
- The person wants to communicate privately (away from the site/app where you met) and requests your email address, phone number or any other personal information.
- The person is very attentive and may declare their love very early in the relationship.
- The person requests intimate photos.
- Types of Financial Assistance Requested:
- An emergency loan
- Assistance cashing/depositing a cheque or other payment
- Assistance receiving a shipment of some kind
- A joint investment or savings account
- Gift cards or other forms of gifts
Common Scenarios
- Set-Up
You meet someone claiming to be a doctor working with a humanitarian organization in a remote country. They seem kind, intelligent, and dedicated to their work, making them highly appealing. - The Hook
Over weeks of messaging, they describe the challenges of their job and the loneliness of being far from home. They gain your trust by sharing seemingly real photos of their “missions” and personal stories. - The Ask
One day, they tell you their bank account is temporarily frozen because of “international sanctions,” and they need money to cover an unexpected medical bill or to buy supplies for their clinic. - The Outcome
If you send money, they’ll thank you profusely and promise repayment. Soon after, another “emergency” will arise, like needing funds to repair equipment. They’ll continue the cycle until you stop sending money or realize the truth.
- Set-Up
You connect with someone online who seems deeply interested in you and begins discussing plans to visit you after just a few weeks of messaging. They claim to live in another state or country, making the visit feel like a significant romantic gesture. - The Hook
They emphasize how excited they are to meet you in person, even sending screenshots of flight itineraries or hotel bookings they’re considering. Then, an issue arises—they explain they’re temporarily unable to pay for the trip due to a financial snag, such as a maxed-out credit card or a delayed paycheck. - The Ask
They request a “loan” to cover their flight ticket or accommodation, promising to pay you back as soon as they arrive. Sometimes, they might even ask for pre-paid gift cards they can use to make the bookings themselves. - The Outcome
If you send the money or gift cards, they’ll string you along with excuses, such as sudden cancellations or family emergencies, and may even request additional funds. Ultimately, they disappear without ever meeting you.
- Set-Up
You meet someone online who quickly builds a close connection with you. They may frame the relationship as romantic or a budding friendship, making you feel like a trusted confidant. - The Hook
One day, they claim to have been in a terrible accident, fallen gravely ill, or been unjustly jailed. They share emotional stories of their plight, such as being stuck in a foreign country without health insurance or needing bail money after a misunderstanding. - The Ask
They ask you for urgent financial help, often requesting money for hospital bills, medication, or legal fees. To make the plea more convincing, they might use fake invoices, letters from hospitals, or police records as “proof.” - The Outcome
If you send money, they may continue the ruse by claiming the situation worsened, demanding more financial aid. Eventually, they vanish, leaving you heartbroken and out of pocket.
- Set-Up
You meet someone online who seems genuine and eager to build a relationship with you. After a few weeks of chatting, they begin to talk about financial hardships or the need for help with some business transactions. They claim they trust you deeply and want you to help them resolve an issue they can’t manage alone. - The Hook
They send you a money order or check through the mail, often claiming it’s for expenses like clearing an international transaction, settling a debt, or helping a friend in trouble. They ask you to deposit it into your bank account and send them the equivalent amount in cash or wire transfer, keeping a small portion as a “thank-you.” - The Ask
The money order or check will initially clear, making it appear legitimate. Believing the funds are real, you send the requested cash to the scammer. They may pressure you to act quickly, citing urgency or legal deadlines. - The Outcome
Days or weeks later, your bank flags the money order or check as counterfeit, reversing the deposit and leaving you responsible for the full amount. Meanwhile, the scammer disappears with the cash you sent, and you’re left with a financial loss.
- Set-Up
You connect with someone online who shares your interests—whether it’s through a dating site, a gaming platform, or a shared hobby group. They seem friendly and genuine, and you quickly establish a bond. It might be a romantic connection or simply a close, platonic friendship. - The Hook
After weeks of chatting, they mention they can’t video chat with you because their webcam or phone camera is broken. They share how much they’d love to see you face-to-face, but they can’t afford to fix it. They subtly bring up how Amazon gift cards would allow them to buy a replacement. - The Ask
They suggest it’s just a small gesture to strengthen your connection. “If you really care about me, this would mean so much,” they might say, adding emotional pressure. If the relationship feels close, you may feel inclined to help. - The Outcome
Once you send the gift cards, they redeem them for other items—or sell them for cash. Despite promises, no video chat happens. They may string you along with excuses or disappear entirely, moving on to another victim.
- Set-Up
A new online friend—romantic or platonic—tells you about a sudden crisis. Perhaps their phone broke, leaving them unable to access their banking app, or their laptop stopped working, preventing them from job hunting. They paint themselves as unlucky but determined, and they’re careful not to ask for too much at first. - The Hook
They share that a gift card for Amazon, iTunes, or a local store would solve their problem temporarily. They might even promise to pay you back or say, “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t truly need it.” They keep the ask just small enough to make it seem reasonable and guilt you into helping. - The Ask
They request specific amounts, such as $50 to $100, claiming it’s just enough to solve their issue. They might even say they’ll send pictures of their “new phone” or “fixed laptop” as proof. - The Outcome
After receiving the gift card, they cash it in and may either ghost you or fabricate a new emergency. Over time, they continue to ask for more help, exploiting your trust and compassion. Whether romantic or platonic, the relationship was always about financial manipulation.
How To Protect Yourself From Romance Sacms
Educate Yourself and Your Loved Ones
Understanding how romance scams work is the first line of defense. Discuss common tactics scammers use, such as professing love quickly, claiming to be in urgent financial need, or avoiding in-person meetings. By staying informed, you can recognize red flags early and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.
Verify Their Identity
Use tools like reverse image searches to check if the person’s photos are stolen from other sources. Search their name and any details they provide to see if they have an online presence consistent with their story. If their identity cannot be verified, proceed with extreme caution or disengage entirely.
Set Boundaries for Sharing Personal Information
Protect sensitive details such as your address, financial situation, or personal photos. Scammers often use shared information for identity theft or emotional manipulation. Teach loved ones, especially seniors, to avoid giving out private details to someone they have never met in person.
Set Boundaries for Sharing Personal Information
Keep communications within the dating app or website where you first connected. Scammers often try to move conversations to private channels, like email or text, to avoid detection. Staying on the platform makes it easier to report suspicious behavior and adds a layer of accountability.
Trust Your Instincts and Act Quickly
If something feels off, trust your gut. Whether it’s a story that doesn’t add up, a sudden financial request, or a refusal to meet in person, these are signs to disengage. Don’t wait for additional confirmation; stop communication, block the person, and report their profile immediately.
Don’t Be Rushed – Avoid False Urgency
Scammers thrive on creating a sense of urgency to push you into making impulsive decisions. They may claim to have a sudden emergency that requires immediate financial help. Take your time to evaluate the situation and remember that a genuine connection is worth building gradually. If someone truly cares about you, they will respect your pace.
Romance Scam Spotting Resources From Banks
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